Here are some quotes that you may hear uttered out of someone who has been single for a long while.
'Do I date? As in the calendar or the fruit?'
'Hmmm, she has to be available for a chat tonight. Do you need to wash your hair 7 days in a row???'
'This invitation tells me to bring a date. I wonder if Scott is free that night.'
'This is the tenth time I've watched Star Wars this week!!!! My life rules!'
'She turned me down! Even after I showed her my fungi collection! Picky!'
'Once I become a level 9 magic user, the babes will be flocking my way!'
'Showering just takes up time.'
'Argh! That be my gold you be a looking at! Argh!'
'Napoleon Dynamite ROCKS!'
Oh wait, that last one isn't what a single person would say. The last one would be the words of a person with a really awful taste in cinema. Sorry about the mix up there.